If there is one thing I have learned over this past year, it is that there is JOY everywhere, and in everything.

Sometimes that JOY is not as obvious.

My sweet Grandpa passed away tonight. He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease 2 years ago. He had a hard battle, but was able to slip quietly from this life to the next with his loving wife, 5 out of his 6 daughters, their husbands, my older sister and myself at the side of his bed.

As I saw him take his last breath I was not prepared for the emotions that came.

Death is a part of life. A loving Father in Heaven has prepared a perfect plan for us. Just as bringing a new life into this world is a part of this plan, so is dying.

I do not understand it all, and won't even begin to try. But what I do know is that I will see him again. I know that he is no longer in pain. I know he is rejoicing with his loved ones.

Amidst my deep sadness tonight I am fighting to see where JOY plays into this part of life.

The Golden Ticket

*This entry was inspired by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's most recent talk from the General Relief Society Meeting. If you haven't seen it yet, well, what are you waiting for?

Remember in the book/movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Willey Wonka announces that he has enclosed in 5 choice bars of chocolate a golden ticket?  The finders of these golden tickets will get to come to Willey's exclusive factory for a tour and also win a life time supply of chocolate.

We all know what happens. The whole world begins to search for the golden tickets. Every one is in pursuit of these tickets. But along the way, in anticipation for the golden ticket, the JOY and pleasure that once was found in a chocolate bar begins to loose it's appeal. The chocolate bar may have even been tossed to the side, uneaten, if it did not contain the coveted golden ticket.

How many of us are waiting for our golden ticket? The perfect marriage, a home that is clean and stays clean, a life free of stress or worry, enough money...the list goes on and on. We can become so narrow minded and obsessed with these golden tickets that our chocolate bars are literally going to waste. 

I ate a piece of fudge before writing this (curse you James for making such succulent fudge!!!) The chocolate melted as soon as it touched my tongue. Chocolate is so warm and friendly because it does this...it melts and spreads to every taste bud, every crevasse of your mouth. It slides down your throat and lands softly in your stomach. It pats you on the back on it's way down and wraps you in comfort. (You are going to the pantry right now for some chocolate, aren't you?)

Okay people!!! What are you waiting for? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the last golden ticket was just found! You ain't getting one!

ENJOY the chocolate and STOP WAITING FOR YOUR GOLDEN TICKET!!!!

Let the JOY that is all around you seep into every crevasse. Open your heart and mind to the JOY that can penetrate every cell in your body. JOY does not force itself in, but when you create space and opportunity, it melts into every part of you.

Imagine standing before your creator on judgment day and saying, "I just couldn't enjoy the sunset tonight because my favorite show was on and I just couldn't miss it! And I couldn't enjoy my kids today because they were driving me CRAZY and I was waiting for them to sit still and stop fighting. And my husband, well, when he can finally read my mind and for once know what I want and do exactly what I need him to do, then I can enjoy and serve him. Sorry, I just couldn't savor the smell of those autumn leaves cause my laundry was piling up. And forget about after dinner when my daughter was pulling on my pant leg to read her a story! I couldn't sit down and read to her because the dishes were piling up. So sorry...I will do those things tomorrow when life is calmer."

In pursuit of our golden ticket, are we forgetting to be happy NOW? We must be constantly and prayerfully striving for something better, but we can not forget to find JOY in the journey...or chocolate bar.

So let's start enjoying those chocolate bars again, in all their flavors.

Please share with me your golden tickets, and how you are going to savor your chocolate bars more!!! I LOVE feedback.

Taking the bad with the GOOD

A JOYful life is not void of negative emotions.

Feelings of regret, anger, sadness, guilt or loneliness will always be felt. A JOYful life is had by being able to feel these emotions, and not stuff them down. Being able to take ownership for why you feel this way, FEEL it, then do with it what needs to be done so that you can move forward with JOY.

I may have said this before, but our emotions are our God-given signal that we need to pay attention to what is happening around us. Take for instance regret. Regret is when we felt a prompting to do something and we chose not to. It is an automatic response to help us learn, so that the next time we are prompted, we will listen. Regret is not meant to paralyze us or make us feel bad about ourselves.

Is it possible to take what we have labeled as "negative" emotions and think of them as positive ones??

I have learned that when I respond appropriately to an emotion, even it doesn't feel good at the time, I see my life shift tremendously. I find myself achieving goals and becoming closer to the person that I want to be.

I will take those uncomfortable feelings ANY DAY, because it means that I am alive! It means that I get to make changes and be a better person! I now know that JOY is everywhere and in everything.

Just like a seemingly "negative" emotions drives us forward to change, JOY drives us to soak in the good, be better and appreciate life in all it's glory.

A Gentle, Lovely Reminder

You MUST go and hear this couples story. Stephanie and Christian Nielson, parents of 4, were in a near fatal airplane accident in 2008. Stephanie was burned on over 80% of her body, and Christian, over 40%. Their spirit and story is inspiring and is a gentle, lovely reminder of what is important in this life.

Watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E&feature=player_embedded

Then Visit this blog

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

A String Around My Finger

We have been told that we should follow our head and leave our feelings out of decision making because feelings are misleading.

I beg to differ. Our feelings or emotions are our God-given, built in devise to keep us on track. Emotions keep us in tune with how we are living and in what direction we are going.

Now, if we get really angry and say or do things in that anger, that is different. I am talking about how we feel on a day-to-day basis, when we are washing the dishes, surfing the Internet, or interacting with our family.

Remember that cute little cricket, Jimminy, from Pinocchio?? "Always let your conscious be your guide!" We all have him in our pocket or on our shoulder with his cute little top hat and cane.

This is my new challenge to you, I am trying this myself and I have noticed that it is working:

Tie a string around your finger (other alternatives are a rubber band around your wrist or some other type of bracelet or ring). Every time you see this string, "check-in" to how you are feeling.

Ask your self, "How am I feeling? What am I thinking about? What am I thinking to myself, about myself, or about others? How am I speaking to others? Where are my thoughts?"

The next part is simple, IF your emotions are positive, SMILE and keep going. If they are negative, think of a phrase you can say to "flip it". For example: If I checked in and I was feeling anxious about something (which happens a lot for me) I would say out loud, with that anxiety in mind, "But what if that doesn't happen, then what?" Immediately my mind leaves that negative thought and I am thinking of the positive or the good things that will happen instead.

If I found I was thinking something negative about someone, I would say, "But this person is so great because_______."

It works. It's easy. You will be amazed at what goes on inside of your head! I know I was. I did not even realize how damaging some of my thoughts, and in consequence my emotions were and how they were leading me down paths I wasn't even aware of.

By becoming more aware of your emotions and where they are leading you, you can take control and shape your future in an amazing way.

Good Luck!!

It's been a while. I have taken several mental vacations since my last post. Busy being a Mom of 5 and a wife.

In between those mental vacations I have done a lot of learning and growing too. I feel like life just gets better and better each day. I won't lie...I have my hard days, WHO DOESN'T??? But I am amazed at how much hope and JOY I feel on a daily basis. And here is the cool thing...the only thing that has changed is ME. The way I think, the things I think, the way I react and the way I perceive the things around me.

I would see this quote on the back of a car at my kids school all the time and it always made me smile. It said, "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."

I want to share with you 4 EASY steps to changing ANYTHING in your life. Now keep in mind as you are implementing these steps into your lives...they are EASY, but not familiar. You may struggle a bit because most of us do not know that WE have the control. It may be new to us to accept that life is not happening TO us, it is happening BECAUSE of us.

I believe that Carol Tuttle explained it best when she related change to coming out of a dark closet. We've been walking around in that dark closet, banging into walls and trying to feel our way around. When a door opens for us, or when we are presented with a better way to live, we walk out of that closet and shut the door behind us. But pretty soon we are back to that door, now locked, banging our head against it, screaming "Let me in!" Even though it was dark and bleak, it was familiar. If we persist and believe that we can change and continue to practice our new-found way of living, we may go back to that door and knock a few times, but we will eventually say goodbye to that door forever.

Here are the 4 EASY Steps: (get a pen and paper ready, you will want to write these down! Not only is this process EASY but it is FUN!!)

#1 -Identify what you WANT in life. This may be easier done by listing first the things you DON'T want. Once you have your list (it can be as long or as short as you want) of DON'T wants, you can easily change them into your DO WANTS. For example "I do not want debt" changes into "I want to be free of owing anyone money".

It is SO important to get your list of WANTS, because, as we know, when we focus on what we don't want, we get a whole lot of what we don't want, and vis-a-versa. Easy attracts easy, hard attracts hard. (see more on the Law of Attraction here)

#2-(this is the FUN part) Now, choose ONE thing on your list. You will know which one. It will be the one that stands out the most and the issue that keeps coming up for you. Once you have chosen, close your eyes and image what it would be like if that one things was already in your life. Imagine what it feels like. What do you hear? What are people around you seeing and saying about your success? How do you feel? Really get to a place where you truly believe it has happened.

#3-Now go throughout your day and act accordingly. Act as if this issue has already been cleared or come to fruition. When self-doubt or self-sabotaging thoughts creep in, and they will, close your eyes and go to that place again.

A dear friend of mine was trying to loose weight and she tapped her goal weight right over the face on her scale, so when she stepped onto her scale she saw that she weighed exactly what she wanted to weigh. Sound silly? It may be, but our subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real thoughts and imaginary ones. Our subconscious also HAS to be right, so if we are telling our mind that it is fit and trim and weighs 130 pounds, you better believe that our minds will deliver.

#4-That leads us into our last step, and this one may sometimes be the hardest. It is Inspired Action. We had already identified what we WANT, imagined being there, and stayed in a place where we could continue to believe it until we see it. Now we get to act on inspiration that comes to us.

You can't get anywhere, except to the next episode of Survivor by sitting on the couch. It just ain't gonna happen. If I set a goal to run a marathon (which I would never do by the way...=)...) I won't be ready on race day unless I have trained and ran mile after mile. Is training always going to be FUN and EASY? Nope. But it will be worth the effort.

We all have inside of us a God-given tool to see good and see what is right. We also have the ability to go after it.

If I want to loose weight, I need to take the Inspired Action to loose. I need to get up instead of sleep in. I need to listen when my sisters or friends are taking about a healthy recipe then ask for it. I need to research on the Internet some good muscle building exercises. I need to say YES when a friend asks me to get up early with her and go to the track. I need to act.

I can tell you that these steps work. They are working for me. I know that they can work for you.

Like I said at the beginning, nothing about my life has changed except ME. I have closed that door on a dark, depressing, sad closet and stepped into the light. The view from my new closet is amazing. I see hope and color again. I see life and love and JOY!!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME! I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SUCCESSES!!

JOY IS...

We all experience JOY in different ways. What is JOYful to one may not hold the same value to another. Here is what JOY means to me:

JOY is...

a nap, opening all of my windows on warm spring day, watching my kids sleep, my kids at play, relaxing after a day of play or work, a nap (did I mention this already??) feeling accomplished, my husbands goofy way of making me laugh, a friends encouraging words, a good hair day, family parties, holidays, a meal that didn't burn or wasn't missing an ingredient, sharing something you have learned with someone else, garage sales, a child's arm around my neck, a toothless grin, asking my kids what they learned in school, a good parent-teacher conference, driving by myself, books on tape, ice cold water, a nice aroma in my house, hot cocoa and a fuzzy blanket, being a wife, being a mother, being a daughter and an aunt, and a friend...

Here are a couple of the things I have come to take JOY in since I have taken my head out of my

sandy, ostrich hole and remembered what life is really suppose to be like...

The sunset. A rolly polly bug squirming in my child's hand. My kids laughter. My husbands blue eyes. Anticipation for the next great thing. Hope. The silence in the morning before everyone wakes up. The sun coming up and bringing with it a new day of endless possibilities.

WHAT DO YOU FIND JOY IN??? Please leave a comment!! We need to learn from each other! I want to know what fills you with JOY!